Well, it's been 6 days since my last radiation treatment, and it's safe to say this is the worst I've felt through the whole process. It's a little odd to think that the radiation is still doing it's little neutron dance in my face this long after finishing treatment, but they seem to be slam dancing pretty hard in there. My mouth is so sore and burned up inside that I can't really talk. The doctor had given me morphine and magic mouthwash, which has lidocaine, and I hadn't used either much through the whole process until now. The morphine is all gone and the mouthwash is nearly empty. I'm not sleeping more than a half hour at a time before the mucus builds up enough that it wakes me, choking. The fatigue is mostly gone, but has been replaced by plain old lack of sleep.
One thing I've noticed over the last few days, no matter how loudly or clearly I speak, every single person asks "what?" after every word or sentence, making me repeat myself and further tearing my tongue and cheeks apart. This happened before all this radiation crap, but obviously it's a bit more troublesome now. The really frustrating part is that if I don't repeat myself and just sit and wait five seconds, nearly every person finally answers the question or acknowledges what I had said, confirming that "what?" is just a knee-jerk response to everything. It was frustrating before, now it's infuriating and painful.
Kaia left yesterday. Back to Florida and school. Miss her already.
8 comments:
What?
(come, on, it had to be done!)
Jolly joker, you so funny :D
Feel better soon Peeg!*hugs*
Workin on it!
I really liked the article, and the very cool blog
You're getting so close to being able to start the truly getting better portion of this! I'm so sorry that it has to get worse before it gets better, and that "worse" is as painful and frustrating as it is. I know how hard it is to be without good, deep sleep, and I'm impressed you're even able to write coherent blog posts! Looking forward to rejoicing with you in the coming weeks and months as the pain (and mucus!) goes away, and your taste comes back, and all the wonderful things that await you.
Dear Peeg, this Ranlinde from the plaza. I don't know if you already know of this trick but many cancer patients in my support group who have undergone radiation therapy of the neck use this trick to deal with mucosal burns and sores. Take flax seeds and leave them in warm water for a while - after a while you'll see gelatin forming. Use this to wash your mouth as often as you want. The gelatinous stuff will work as a substitute for the lack of your own saliva and embalm the sores. Thinking of you.
Been away for a couple of weeks, just been catching up on your posts. Glad to see your treatment is over, I hope you start to improve real soon.
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