Hungry Hungry Hippocrates

I am forced to concur.
This is not my design, btw, I just Googled it.
It is for sale though.

I had three doctor's appointments scheduled today. One, with my otolaryngology oncological surgeon, another with my general practitioner, and finally the weekly physical therapist visit.

Except the physical therapist wasn't today. I forgot we're skipping a week now.

My family doctor was talkative. A lot. Said he wasn't confident he could get a speech therapist for me. It wasn't that he didn't think I would benefit from one, it was that he didn't think it would get approved. I talked to him a little about the problems I'm having with Ironwood and United. He knew a good bit about it. Then he went on to explain how a certain healthcare organization out here was bent on becoming the Kaiser Permanente of the Southwest and they were pitting health service groups - like Ironwood - against each other and pretty much using the insurance company as muscle. One of my Ironwood oncologists had suggested that I try to get Access to switch me to Mercy Care. I wasn't about to call them. I'm not even going to give them a reason to look my way, for fear they'll do something random.

My surgeon is the opposite, bizzaro version of my family doctor. He says almost nothing, and when he does, it's not clear what he means because his face is a blank. I can't tell if he's passive or pissed or asleep. He asks how you are and then just listens. No follow-up questions, really, he just moves on to the next thing. Looked in my mouth and the back of my throat and said everything looks good. Felt the nodes and such and said everything looked good. We talked about the upcoming PETscan and he said 2 months is too soon after the last one. He added, if he were an insurance company, he'd deny it. I'm not sure how to take that part. I can think of a few reasons, but only one that's bad for me. I don't want any more rads than I need, but I also don't want to skip a scan because it's beaucoup cash. In the end, I understand that I'm on welfare, so I'm not likely to be getting the best of care. Doesn't mean I gotta be happy with that, though I have to say, even though I have a lot of minor, daily complaints, I can't complain about the overall care I've gotten.

Side note: A few years ago it was pointed out that the true symbol
of Hippocrates and physicians was not the Caduceus but the Asclepius, which is
basically just a stick with a bent tip, not a bad-ass sceptre of winged power.
The world said no.

I don't have to see him again until April. I also found out that my surgeon doesn't take Mercy Care.

Death Panels - Who Needs Em?

by the way

I solved the "nothing rhymes with 'orange'" thing.

Door hinge.

So there's that.

I don't have any news. Just here waiting. I did find these pictures buried in my email. I added some for a mini timeline.

This one is from the first day after surgery. May 13, I guess, but it could be the 12th.

The only sleep I got

Leavin the Pit of Despair

Radiation Graduation

 

Need more chin whiskers

Over The Hump

The last couple of days have seen a lot of improvements. The fatigue is slowly going away, but the big thing for me is that I can taste certain things again. Tangy stuff most of all, like tomato sauces were first. That and Diet Coke, which I believe prompted the return of flavor when I shocked the hell out of my tongue the first time I tried it. Since then more areas of my tongue seem to be waking up. Since that happened I've been trying to force myself to eat regular food to wean myself off the feeding tube.

I had some cereal. Cocoa Krispies, to be specific. I couldn't really taste the cereal and the texture was a bit much, but I was able to finish two bowls. Ice cream with a brownie, almost a whole sloppy joe, some noodle soups, even a little prime rib that Kevin brought home last night. Mostly it was the A-1 that I was tasting, but still, it was so great to be able to taste even just that!

Now I have no excuse to slack off anymore, I guess. Back to work.

It Hurts and Stings

I was able to eat some spaghetti last night. Sorta. I ate some sauce and some noodles. A mushroom or two. The tomato sauce burned a little, but it was the Diet Coke that really did it. Harsh. It made my tongue do odd things. Everything tastes metallic or alkaline on one part of my tongue. Even water. I think that's why I was able to eat spaghetti. The acidy taste mimicked the real taste of tomato sauce's acid taste and fooled my brain into thinking it was tasting something. So I could finish eating rather than losing my appetite after a few bites of no flavor.

Blood Work #4,983,222

Back to Sonora Quest Labs for blood work in advance of my appointment with Dr. Scewzyck on Monday. Not the last by any measure, I'm sure.

Still not feeling any better since the last treatment. Wednesday will be 2 weeks. Hopefully the doc was right and I'll see some improvement soon. Very tired.

One More Day

Well, according to the Ironwood peeps, I only have one more session! I was originally scheduled for 36 treatments, but somewhere along the line that got changed to 35, so today was my second to last treatment. Bad news is I can't celebrate properly! Normally such good news requires a trip to a nice restaurant for some great food, but that's not in the cards. No big deal. Soon enough I'll be able to chow down proper-like.

The last couple of days have been rough. Very tired, very sore. I actually had to crack out the morphine a couple of times yesterday. At least the nausea/heartburn went away, for the most part. Once I'm done with my treatments though, it's going to be about two weeks and then I should be working back to normal. Well, the "new normal" as they say. Nothing is really going to be the same as it was, but that's ok. I'm hoping that my brilliant healing powers will even bring back my sense of taste sooner than expected.

Something came up the other day and I thought I'd address it here. My daughter asked me if I felt any different, felt any of the effects right after the radiation session. The answer is no. You don't feel the radiation at all. It's like getting an x-ray. You also don't really feel any of the effects later. They just sort of creep up on you and are just 'there'. Which is why it's difficult to discern which treatment is causing the side effects. I have to rely on what I've read and what the doctors tell me to determine which is causing what issue, the chemo or the radiation, and often I'm surprised to find out it wasn't the way I thought it was. The taste bud issues, I thought, were the result of the radiation passing through my tongue and killing my taste buds, but apparently it's the chemo killing them off. Which also makes it strange that I still have a great sense of smell. I would have though that since the two were kind of linked in the way the brain works, that the two would be somewhat equally affected by the chemo. Apparently not.

Welp, this time tomorrow there's going to be a party in my pants!

Surgery

I've been thinking about this lately because I've been writing about how my doctors, all three of them, have told me that the side effects from the radiation and chemotherapy are worse than the surgery. I've said a number of times that, so far at least, this hasn't been the case for me. I don't know whether this is because I have a good healing profile and have yet to experience real nausea from the chemo or very bad burns from the radiation. The effects do seem to be catching up on me a little but they're still not as bad as the surgery recovery. It's obvious that I'm not enjoying this at all and it definitely is difficult.

The reason I've been thinking of all of this is because I don't want to give people the wrong impression. I definitely had a very difficult time in the hospital, no doubt. To be honest, it's the only time during all of this that I've been brought to tears from the pain and trauma. I know that I was pretty raw emotionally as well as the obvious physical issues, but it was easily the most difficult thing I've ever had to go through. That being said, I'm still glad I had the surgery. I'm not sure not having surgery was an option for me, certainly not if I wanted to get through this. My surgical oncologist gave me the option of going the 'just chemo and radiation' route, but I believe that he didn't believe it was the best option. Stage 4 is only 1 step down from 'get your affairs in order'. I also know from my research that if I had gone that route I would be enduring a much more intense series of treatments and for far longer with likely more serious and permanent side effects. The only plus side seemed to be no scars.

I guess what I'm saying in way too many words is: I'd do it the same again. I don't want to inadvertently dissuade someone who reads this from going through surgery. Even though I felt differently in the hospital, and now I'm looking back through the long lens of memory, which softens the experience a bit, I'd still do it the same. I'd much rather have the evil crap cut out of me as much as possible than have even higher doses of possibly more cancer-causing radiation and larger doses of toxic chemical dripped right into my bloodstream. I think my chances are much better after having the surgery and I believe it was the right way to go.