List them, anyway. The things seem to keep piling on so I figured it was time for a listing, if only for posterity's sake.
Almost fell and broke my ass today. The legs just kinda gave out and the only thing that saved me from hitting the floor hard is the sofa. My thigh muscles are about done as far as doing any real work. I can stand and walk, but any bending or stopping is difficult and crouching or squatting is out of the question. It's too painful for the muscles and I won't be able to get back up without help once I get down there.
The neck muscles seem to be about the same. Still not able to lift my head at all if I'm laying down. Sucks to have to use your already weak arms to lift your even weaker head just to adjust a pillow.
The arms are about the same as they have been since the beginning of the month. My left arm is definitely weaker, with the right being able to be raised over my head. The left won't go higher than shoulder level. My shoulders have flattened out in the back. It looks like those muscles, the infraspinatus muscle, is pretty much gone. This is the muscle that supports the shoulder joint, something that already gives me trouble on the right side to begin with.
The last few days I've noticed the dysphagia, difficulty in swallowing, has been getting worse. Eating cereal, my one fall back, is now getting tough, and even swallowing liquids is more problematic. The muscles that are already messed up are firing even worse than before.
I weigh 142 lbs. Less than I weighed during chemo.
The questions the attorney's rep asked me made me think more about what's going on. "How long can you stand without having to reposition or shift due to discomfort?" Uh, 30 seconds?
"How much weight are you able to lift?" I can't even get a plate out of the cabinet with two hands without almost dropping it.
"Do you have trouble bending or stooping?" I can't even reach my toes to put socks on. If I crouch down, I'll never get up again unless someone pulls me up.
"How long can you walk without feeling pain or discomfort?" About a minute.
I think I have a good chance of being approved. I fit more than the necessary criteria listed and each of these are kinda severe in my case, so I'm optimistic. I am used to disappointment, however, so I'm not getting my hopes high.
And much as I hate asking for help, especially begging for money, and I know you all have donation fatigue by now, I'm definitely going to need all the help I can get. My friend, Brian Clapper, set this up for me. You can give anonymously and hide how much you give if you like. Even if it's only $1.00, it means everything to me and anything helps.