Monday, May 07, 2012
I'm a bit behind on this one. Every news and entertainment outlet has already done their retrospective tribute to Adam Yauch. All the tweets have been twittered and the faces booked. I write this now almost out of a feeling of obligation. It's not that I don't want to say something about the man, it's that I don't want to think about where he is and where I am.
I was never a huge Beastie Boys fan. To be honest, I hate everything they did before Ill Communication, where they truly crossed hip-hop and metal, not that screamy crap rap they were doing first. Brass Monkey and No Sleep make we want to hurt things. I've liked them since then, but only own one CD, said Ill, and don't have any songs on any playlist.
When I'd heard he had died, I hadn't known at first why. I was fairly surprised, as I hadn't known he was Illin. Too soon?.. Then I found out that he had cancer in one of his salivary glands and things got real, as the kids say. It's a strange concept, that any cancer above the chest is considered to be in one category: Head and Neck Cancer. I'm not sure if brain tumors or skin cancers on the head or face fall into that category, but Salivary Gland Cancer and Tonsil Cancer do.
I find myself wanting to know more about his experiences, his decisions. I can't wrap my brain around why his cancer took his life and why mine didn't. Why his took it after three years. Did he stop treatment? Did he opt for less aggressive treatment? Did he just have a very stubborn cancer? Did it spread? Did it go away only to return? This is our concern, Dude.
Everyone's cancer is different. I guess that's the thing I'm learning here. Why do some people end up losing their bottom jaw and some people can still use theirs to gripe about the food they have trouble eating? Get checked, people.
I have a PET Scan in a couple of hours. This will be my third scan. Second since ending radiation and chemo. Hopefully the area that was a little 'glowy' last time will be gone.
*edit* I'll know on the 10th when I meet with my oncologist.