Sunday, May 26, 2013

It's Funny

It's not all that funny. My New Year's resolution for 2011 was to get out more and meet people and get my career moving in a direction I wanted instead of one life and other people threw at me. I started painting more and I signed up for some art and social Meetups. I went to one photoshoot with some models and set-up a shoot with a model I met on Deviantart. I wouldn't call it 'ulterior motive' or anything devious, but my thought was that I would focus on my art and my work and the rest would follow. The "rest" being what we're all supposed to be looking for. Casual sex. And maybe love.

The previous few months (years), I had been living in something of a hermitude. Hermitage? Whatever, I was wallowing in my own misery, shunning the rest of the world. Here it was, 2011 and I was throwing it out there and boom. Cancer. And now I'm back to where I started, only with cancer tagging along. I don't care about big bodily scars. I'm proud of them. They remind me of what I went through and remind me (because I used to know it) that I can do anything. But sometimes I forget and sometimes people remind me, not in a good way.

Chillin at the bar with my roommate and as usual the server thinks I don't like my food because it's taking me forever to eat it. So I tell her I'm fine, I just have issues eating. She looks at me oddly and I can see my buddy is about to help her out, so I tell her I had cancer and that it makes it tough to eat certain things, but "I can eat those", and point to the wings. I order some of the wings, she says something sympathetic and leaves and never comes back.

She brought my wings and gave my friend a soda and refilled it twice, but she ignored me the rest of the night. I had to get a barhop to refill my water. When my roommate ordered the soda, she didn't ask me if I wanted anything and bolted so fast I didn't get a chance to ask. He had to ask her for me later so I could have some water to choke down the chicken she'd brought me.

No idea if it was about the cancer or not. Maybe she just liked my friend and wasn't really ignoring me, but flirting with him. I'm aware that I might be oversensitive.

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