So I thought I was being brilliant and mailed some clothes to myself via USPS priority flat rate. I figured a $15 was better than checking a bag for $50.
I found out the hard way that "2 DAY PRIORITY MAIL" doesn't mean shit because the fine print says "not guaranteed".
If I REALLY wanted it to get here in 2 days I needed to ship it "2 day priority EXPRESS", because priority doesn't really mean priority unless you add another useless descriptor to the title.
And you can't complain or ask for a refund until it's later than 5 days. As much as I want the USPS to succeed and stay public, but I honestly can't see how they're going to do that by sucking so hard.